The puzzle of my roommate's different relationship to yoga, and feeling like she wanted me to just be a conscious computer generating shapes led me to a different place as far as my idea of how to teach yoga.
Something about not needing to be profound, but rather having to be a kind of gently engaged presence for her safety and direction gave me a vast ocean to consider what seemed valuable about a yoga flow that I was teaching for HER. And all the pressure I put on myself to preach wisdom and inspire deep thoughts about ourselves in the world blah blah blah... evaporated in the simplicity of her expectations. I did what I said I was going to do. And I did it in such away that resonated with the things I thought were important in the moment. And it was good enough. Another tool has appeared in my toolbox that I'm excited to explore.
My peer was in a weird place, questioning a lot of what is happening w the Yttp yoga core, about what she wants from yoga etc, so I got a lot of kick back during my teaching time, and decided to listen while she wrestled with her experiences, desires and the different approaches and information floating around all of us. I know I am safe, that I will get things I value from this 300 hour experience - but what about others who aren't so safe, and at what point are we just feeding the beast? Why do we put our emotional states and bodies in the hands and ideas of people we don't know? Whether it's a long dead philosopher or a fresh faced nyu grad, how do we know they follow through with what they profess to believe in? It is no less religious to me then what I grew up with, what is it that we are so hungry for that gives others power? How do we change the lens being perceived through, even for a moment?