Night after night, construction equipment accumulates in your dreams.

I.
When does playing 'together' start
not just alongside,
or taking-toys-from
or giving-toys-to
the seeds of being in a community?

What needs to be there
for activity-next-to
to become
activity-with
or activity-together?


II.
Difference between
giving and taking
(capitalism
judicial system
eye-for-an-eye)
vs
sharing
(mutual penetration?
familial?
extra-sensory?
unguarded?)

what is it
sharing
an acknowledgement
that my expression
is somehow
tied to yours?


III.
first we learn
how my left hand
and right hand
can work together

and later learn
how your hands
and my hands
can work together

how seemingly disparate parts
can belong to the same body -
and in the same way
'I care that YOU are hurting'

is born from an expansion
in how I perceive the landscape
by including YOU
in my sense of selfness somehow


IV.
Knowing who I am
what I want
value
believe

is somehow different

than knowing what I have
to offer
prowess
skills
strength

what is it
that bridges the two
That calls them out of me
in a way that asks them
to support each other

whether I am drawing my sword
or reaching out for connection

V.
'No' as a kind of container
Rules/Laws as a kind of container
Roles/Expectations
Choices we make
Circumstance
Time

The stories we tell as a kind of container

Containers as a way of being held
Edges to brush up against
ways to know what I am shaped like
sculpting an absent mother's embrace
out of accumulated edges


VI.
Can we work on a project together
or a game
even while playing
by different internal rules?

maybe it allows an evolution
becomes something that unfolds
like it is alive
rather than just repeating itself


VII.

communion and community
have the same roots

Tasting the body and blood of another
A bonding ritual
the sharing or exchanging of intimate thoughts and feelings,
especially when the exchange is on a mental or spiritual level
common participation in a mental or emotional experience
a group of people living in the same place or having a particular characteristic in common
especially in the context of social values and responsibilities; society
a similarity or identity
a group of interdependent organisms of different species
growing or living together
affecting each other's abundance, distribution, and evolutionary adaptation
a group with diverse characteristics linked by social ties, common perspectives, engage in joint action in geographical locations or settings

*participants differ in the emphasis placed on particular elements
defined similarly but experienced differently by diverse backgrounds

what is the nature of
the texture and flavor of
those shared roots

how do we change the landscape
rules
institutions
language
and maintain a connection?

what lives underneath those things
for us to hold on to
breathe into
remember
feel
partake in
in the first place?

The Elephant: Reflection for week 6

It's hard to come in quiet when you're about to do the talking, especially in the beginning when you don't know what's up w the student's body on this particular day, and quite possibly they don't either.

I'm having a hard time with the concept of holding an intention, especially one that may be unrelated to the person in front of me, waiting for guidance about how to be in their body, or where their bodies should be in space. If we are there for different reasons, how do I know where to begin the journey of that class and which arc will provide the questions they want to be asked?

As I come up against places where the student and I veer off in different directions or I'm moving forward and they seem left behind or stuck - I'm finding I need better questions I can ask to figure out what threads got lost and possibly a more accessible way of weaving our experience back together.

I did learn this past week that providing moments of physical resistance, or subtle selective pressure was really helpful to not only guide a student's attention inward when nothing was clear, but also in illuminating the pathways of movement they were taking. It was really interesting to see a kind of crystallization of the idea of agency into something they could feel and clearly delineate in their own bodies.

The shifting of tactics/stories I'm telling are kind of graceless and abrupt at the moment, but I feel like each shift is a broadening of both my awareness and the information I had received in the moments before it, as well as a letting go of preconceived plans to allow the needs of the moment to call the questions and knowledge out of me.